Family thankful for community support

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By ELIZABETH HOCHSTEDLER
elizabeth.hochstedler@lee.net
Friday, November 28, 2008 9:05 PM CST

Thanksgiving is a time for families to gather, eat and catch up with each other. Barb and Tom Sandford plan to mark their holiday in much the same way, although two members of their family will be notably missing.

Their sons, Sgt. Neil Sandford and Cpl. Matt Sandford, serve in the United States Marine Corps. and will not be home for yet  another holiday.

Although Barb and Tom could use this week to feel sorry for themselves and sulk around, wishing their sons were with them, they won’t.

The two have found ways to be grateful for what they do have and what is yet to come.

They are mostly thankful for the experience their sons are gaining and the outpouring of support their family has received from the Chippewa Falls community.

Becoming Marines

When Neil, 24, was growing up and even as he went through high school, Tom and Barb never expected him to join the military.

He graduated from Chippewa Falls High School in 2003 and studied for a semester at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. But he decided he was ready for a change.

“Really, he came home one day out of the blue, and he said, ‘I’m going to serve my country,’ just like that,” Barb said.

She admits she was scared at first, but when he was accepted into the Marines, she backed his plan.

“I immediately told him he would make a wonderful Marine. I just supported him 100 percent,” Barb said.

Matt, 21, was soon to follow. He decided in high school that he wanted to serve in the Air Wing of the Marines.

“I guess it wasn’t as much of a surprise because he had made up his mind and was determined,” Tom said.

Neil and Matt both joined on their own accord, with hardly an influence from their family. Tom’s father had been a sergeant in the Marines, but hadn’t expected his grandsons to follow in his footsteps.

“Tom’s father was a Marine but never spoke of it and did not encourage the boys at all,” Barb said.

But before he passed away about a year and half ago, he made it known that he was proud of what they had accomplished.

“Boy, he was the proudest grandpa,” Barb said.

She and Tom say they’re just as proud of their boys.

“I’m so proud of them, that they’re willing to do this for the greater good,” Barb said.

“It’s totally unselfish, honorable, for anyone to go into the military,” Tom added.

Both parents said their sons are very humble about their service, and they don’t feel like heroes.

“I’ve told my boys that they’re heroes, and Neil’s like, ‘No, we’re not,’” Barb said.

Neil, who is an assault man and weapons and explosives expert, has served two tours in Iraq, with his last one ending this past spring. He is currently stationed in Twentynine Palms, Calif. and will complete his four years of active service in December.

Matt has been in Iraq since July on his first tour there. He is a loadmaster and rides in a C-130 plane which refuels other aircraft. He is expected home in February or March.

Having their sons in Iraq has been hard on the Sandfords, but they have learned to live with their sons’ jobs.

“You take one day at a time, and you learn to replace fear with faith, I think,” Barb said.

Community support

One of the biggest keys to coping for the Sandfords has been support from the community.

“We’re so grateful to live in a community that acknowledges the sacrifices of our sons and other military servicemen. It’s a gift and a blessing to live in a place like this,” Barb said.

Before Matt graduated from high school, Barb approached Chi-Hi Principal Jim Sauter and asked if students who would be serving in the military would be recognized during the ceremony. Sauter obliged and has been continuing the tradition ever since.

School teachers and students across the Chippewa Falls School District have also given a hand to Barb and Tom and their sons.

Middle school students created a banner for the Sandfords to place on the outside door of their house. Teachers have also contacted the family requesting Neil and Matt’s addresses to send cards and notes.

“These students have sent them cards, and the cards are fantastic,” Barb said. “We were just really honored that the teachers are taking the time to promote that the servicemen are giving to their country.”

Neil and Matt also appreciate getting the cards.

“The boys will sit down and start going through them,” Tom said.

“They treasure them; they really do,” Barb added. “We’ll save those forever.”

The couple also appreciates the work that Bill and Mary Brunstad put in with the signs at Irvine Park which name the military personnel from the area who are currently serving.

“It’s nice of the community to have their names listed down at the park,” Tom said.

Barb said when she’s feeling low, she will walk down to the park and seeing her sons’ names brightens her mood.

“That means so much to us as parents. It means so much that their names are acknowledged,” she said.

Their parish, Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church, and their neighbors have also been supportive.

“I can’t go downtown without people asking, ‘How are the boys? Where are the boys?’” Barb said.

“We’re really just grateful to this community for their support. It’s a wonderful town.”

Looking forward

For now, Barb and Tom plan to spend Thanksgiving with their nephews, making sure to fill their home with family and joy.

They are also looking forward to mid-December when Neil will come home. He plans to start classes at the University of Wisconsin-Stout when he returns.

“He’s going to come home and resume college, then he’ll make the decision whether he wants to return (to the Marines) as an officer,” Barb said.

The family is most thankful for the service their sons and other military members have put in.

“We’re forever grateful to these quiet heroes who serve something bigger than themselves, who deny themselves so much to improve the greater good,” Barb said. “They are always humble in their service, always acknowledging those who sacrificed at (a) greater cause than themselves.”