Collicott grateful for support

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BY JEFFREY HAGE -- jeff.hage@lee.net
Wednesday, November 23, 2005 1:36 PM CST

LAFAYETTE - There isn't a night that Brian Collicott doesn't think about the early morning hours of October 16.

That's a day that a motorcoach filled with band students slammed into an overturned semi on Interstate 94, killing five people and injuring dozens more. Collicott was left critically injured as a result of the crash and is on a road to recovery filled with pain and heavy emotions.

“I think ‘what if this happened' or ‘what if that happened',” Collicott said. “I think about all the things I could have done differently. That's how I fall asleep at night,” he said.

Collicott, co-director of the Chippewa Falls High School Marching Band, struggles with the losses that October morning. Among the deceased was Collicott's friend, co-worker and mentor, Doug Greenhalgh. Student teacher Branden Atherton also died; as did bus driver Paul Rasmus; Greenhalgh's wife, Therese and their grandchild, Morgan.

Each day Collicott flips his calendar to a day of new beginnings.

“Everyday is a new day without Doug and Branden. Each day is a new day without Paul Rasmus,” he said, explaining that the events of October 16 will be brought up every day for at least the next year.

With the Greenhalgh, Atherton and Rasmus families suffering such tragic losses, Collicott says it's selfish to be thankful to be alive.

Instead, he is thankful to have his wife Jennifer standing strong by his side. He is also thankful for the lessons learned about community and friendship in the days since the crash.

Outpouring of support

The voice on the phone sounded familiar. It was a voice dating back ten, maybe 12 years when Collicott was a trumpet player in a high school band while growing up in Milwaukee.

“It was an old friend from the band who called to say he regretted not staying in touch,” Collicott said.

And with that an old relationship was born again. The two plan to renew their friendship as early as Sunday when the old friend stops by Collicott's rural Chippewa Falls home for a visit.

That's the kind of support the Collicotts have experienced since the bus crash.

If Brian and Jen Collicott have learned anything since October 16, it's that people have a yearning to help each other.

“They want to make a difference during a difficult situation, and will do what they can to help,” Brian Collicott said.

Collicott says every person he knows contacted him following the accident.

“I honestly can't think of anyone who didn't contact me somehow or another,” he said. “There were many people who remembered me from high school 10-12 years ago.”

Friends and colleagues have showered the Collicotts with homemade meals, gift cards from grocery stores and gas stations, gift certificates and cards. Every week a gift basket arrives from the school district filled with entrees and desserts.

Bridge of hope

For two weeks Collicott was hospitalized in Rochester, Minn., and lived through the emotional struggles of being so far away from Chippewa Falls.

But a website brought Collicott in touch with many of the emotions being experienced not only in Chippewa Falls, but around the nation.

Caring Bridge allowed Jen to give updates on Brian's conditions to people around the world. In turn, readers of the Website were allowed to leave messages of support. The messages played an important role in Collicott's healing process.

“Jen read them to me night after night,” Collicott said. “We read every one out loud and found it was a good place for people to just let their emotions fly,” he said.

The support, Collicott says, was amazing. But it wasn't unexpected.

“I know what music and being in a band has done for me, and unless you're a part of it, it does take you by surprise,” he said.

But never underestimate the power of the music community, Collicott says, because it will be there for you every time.

It's all about the kids

As Collicott lay in his hospital bed in the days following the accident, he was concerned about more than just his own crushed ankle, or the injuries sustained to his sternum, ribs, and vertebrae.

He was more worried about his kids - the members of the Chi-Hi Marching Band.

“I wanted to know that everyone was OK,” he said.

Collicott is well aware of the important role he and Greenhalgh played in the lives of the band students. At 170 students, the band is the largest activity at Chi-Hi. Through music, Collicott and the other music instructors touch the lives of an amazing 25 percent of the student population on a daily basis, he said.

During the week following his return home from the hospital, Collicott invited the entire band to his home near Lake Wissota.

“We had 200 people show up for a bonfire. Our house was filled to capacity,” he said.

Before the students left that night he gathered his seniors for a special pep talk.

“That was important to me because they knew (Greenhalgh) the longest,” he said.

“I offered them a little encouragement because they play a large role in the success of the year because the younger kids are watching them and learning,” he said.

Unable to grieve

Brian and Jen feel they were robbed of something very important during their stay in Rochester - the ability to grieve.

“It's been five weeks, and neither of us have been able to grieve,” he said.

In Rochester the Collicotts were left isolated while the community poured out its emotions for Doug, Therese, and Morgan Greenhalgh, as well bus driver Paul Rasmus.

“We missed all the music playing and the outpouring of emotion,” he said.

They watched the wake and funeral services on videotape, but the ceremonies were, to some extent, emotionless on tape.

“We missed out on all that stuff, but we gained in all the people helping,” Collicott said.

Finding good in tragedy

When it came to the Chi-Hi Marching Band, Collicott and Greenhalgh took pride in how 170 people could come together for a common goal.

“It was always amazing to see something come together that was greater than any individual effort,” Collicott said.

He believes the same phenomenon can come as a result of the tragic bus accident, too.

“With something that affected such a large population of students, it would be terrible not to take advantage of it in a positive way,” Collicott said.

“It was a terrible tragedy and I hope it helps people to stop, think, and prioritize their lives. I hope they take a look at what's important in their lives,” Collicott said.

Collicott says he will never be able to put into words how he feels about the support he and Jen have received since the bus crash.

“I just wish I could do something to say thank you,” he said.

Many in Chippewa Falls would argue that he already has, by sharing the gift of music with the community and with Greenhalgh by his side for an amazing eight years.

Reach Jeffrey Hage at jeff.hage@lee.net